With Success Also Comes New Struggles.

I have a habit of posting positive, empowering, encouraging, inspiring posts on Facebook, Instagram, and this blog. (wow that wasn't humble at all...stay tuned you'll get where I'm going with this). Everyone tells me how positive and uplifting I am. I think I don't necessarily try but to keep myself positive, I need to keep a straight mindset when it comes to what can potentially outweigh the bad.

This past month has been tough with losing a great friend, still processing the loss of other family members and just simply juggling work, exercise, clean eating, and life. 

Updated Progress Picture. :)

Confession: I think I might have been under eating the past 3 weeks. A year ago stress made me eat everything in sight especially cheesy pasta and bread. I'm not sure why things have changed so much. I found myself so tired at night I would eat a banana and some peanut butter for dinner. I wouldn't feel like I was starving or famished, but I knew I wasn't eating enough. I had this "I don't care" attitude and for once I just allowed myself to be depressed. I still am. My heart still hurts and it's a constant struggle to stay on track with eating every few hours. 

When I first started my journey I was eating small meals every 2-2.5 hours. After about 4 months of that and my metabolism being "woken up" I decided that a small breakfast afternoon snack, medium lunch, and large dinner was better. I will often switch it up from time to time with lots of little meals.

So, 5-6 months ago I had a slight "binging" problem. I'm sure others will look at what I consider binging and think I'm crazy for classifying it as that but the truth is the emotional triggers is what makes me classify it as that. On a positive note, those episodes have lessened tremendously. I'm extremely proud of myself. I know that of course I will probably do it a time or two more along this journey but the guilt that came with it will not be there. I've also found a way to work through it mentally. When I have the thought of doing it; I drink 20+ ounces of water in one sitting. I don't let the water bottle out of my hands the entire time until it's gone. If the water is gone and I still have the urge I will get 1 thing that's "bad" might be bread or a piece of pizza...something but nothing more than 1 thing. Those two methods seem to help a lot.

My workouts this month (from the 11th on) have been great!I started focusing more on my arms and backs. The weights have been my friend along with machines. However, I know to keep slimming down in the waist area I need to add more cardio as well. I need a nice balance of cardio and weights. 

So, going back to my under eating issue: I will be doing a full week worth of meal prep for the first time this Sunday. I will take pictures, write recipes, and post the process on my blog. I will keep notes on how the week goes and report back. Then, the next time I do it hopefully I can do it better. I'm excited to see how it goes. 

I wanted to share this struggle of "under eating" because this journey throws a lot of challenges at you. By being able to post this one...I'm hoping to accept it as a struggle and issue, better myself and not rely on it as a problem anymore. I'm taking the steps to improve and get back on track. Please understand that NO ONE is PERFECT on this journey. We all falter in different areas at different points. That being said, we learn so much during each stage so keep yourself accountable and accept the emotions, thoughts, and pain that come with each day because those are what teach us the lessons. 

I hope you all are well. Post questions or email me (look in the contact tab) so we can discuss any questions, issues, or problems you might be having. 

Hugs to you.